Here are yesterday’s stats:
Screen Time: 3h 14min
Pickups: 52
So, I am finding that I don’t care so much about the screen time. That said, 52 pick ups is A LOT!! For me, I’m reading that as if I was distracted from what I was doing a whopping total of 52 times.
Day Two (Tuesday) –> Assess Your Current Relationship
Now that you’ve got a tracking app up and running in the background, pull out a notebook or create a new e-mail message to yourself (or just get a pen and write in the margins – I won’t be offended) and write a few sentences in response to the following questions
- What do you love about your phone?
- What don’t you love about your phone?
- What changes do you notice in yourself – positive or negative – when you spend a lot of time on your phone? (Depending on how old you are, you can also ask yourself if you’ve noticed any changes since you got a smartphone to begin with)
Next, imagine yourself a month from now, at the end of your breakup:
- What would you like your new relationship with your phone to look like?
- What would you like to have done or accomplished with your extra time?
- What would you like someone to say if you asked them to describe how you’d changed?
Write your future self a brief note or e-mail describing what success would look like, and/or congratulating yourself for achieving it.
-Catherine Price
Let the assessing begin:
- What do you love about your phone?
I love that my phone can take pictures. Pictures are such a valuable reminder to me of events that are important to me. Especially with my ADHD, moments and things that are special to me can be easily forgotten. Pictures are such a simple and effective reminder of how important that time was to me.
I love that my phone can keep me connected. This can be my friends, my family, my classmates new and old.
I love that my phone is my “backup” when I get lost. I love to explore, try new things and I feel so much more secure knowing that I have my phone. If I do get the feeling that I can get lost then I have the security of telling myself that I can just google maps or waze my way out of the situation.
I love that my phone is my notepad that does not get lost. Who am I kidding… I misplace my phone at least once on a daily basis. What I mean, is that my phone is the notepad that constantly follows me around and I do not need to try and find where I left my pen!
I love that my phone tracks my period. I am absolutely terrible at remembering dates and this is often a question that the doctor asks. With my handy period tracker, I do not have to worry! I can also track my mood, pains and “intimacy”. It’s interesting when you can look back and see correlations with the time of the month and when bloating, pains, etc. start!
I love that my phone has my daily calm app! Daily meditation helps me soooo much! It’s so awesome to start my day off grounded.
I love that my phone has all of my music. I also recently got apple music and being able to instantly download a song that I have just shazamed is a pretty big deal! Instant gratification, yo!
- What don’t you love about your phone?
Soooo, after writing all that, it’s scary to me how much I love about my phone.
I don’t love that I feel like my phone is dictating my life. I feel like I start something, get a little bit bored and then pick up my phone to check if someone has text messaged me, e-mailed me, instant messaged me, sent me a message through Instagram. The funniest part is that when I do pick up my phone and see that someone has somehow gotten into contact with me I feel annoyed. I get this little twinge of annoyance because I have just interrupted my time, doing whatever it was that I was doing. Talk about addiction.
This seems like one little tiny thing that I don’t love but it is a HUGE thing and it is much more important than the long list of things that I love.
p.s. I also do not like that all these social media apps and our phones are listening to us and tracking us. That is a whole other conversation but it does play a role in what I do not love about my phone.
- What changes do you notice in yourself – positive or negative – when you spend a lot of time on your phone? (Depending on how old you are, you can also ask yourself if you’ve noticed any changes since you got a smartphone to begin with)
I’m changing this question a bit — what positive changes do you see when you spend less time on your phone?
I notice a lot of positive changes. My mind feels SO MUCH LESS cluttered. Last Sunday I turned off my phone for 8 hours and I read a book (this book actually). My mind felt so awake and clear. It was really amazing and a huge inspiration to truly break up with my phone!!
This makes me a bit emotional, but another positive change would be to actually enjoy life. It sounds silly and like a huge exaggeration but I lost 3 hours of “life” yesterday because I was checking my social media to see what was going on. I feel like phones are now becoming “life” and this is a huge mistake. I wish I used those 3 hours yesterday to go for a walk, spend some time with people I love, etc. I won’t get that time back but I CAN change what I do with my time in the future. What happened to just being and living?!
Next, imagine yourself a month from now, at the end of your breakup:
- What would you like your new relationship with your phone to look like?
I would like my new relationship with my phone to be purely scheduled; I look at my phone in the morning at 9am to respond to e-mails, messages, etc. I look at my phone at lunch to answer txt messages. I look at my phone at 5pm to answer e-mails, messages and that sort of thing again. Then donezo for checking messages. If someone wants to get in touch with me for a long convo, they can give me a call and I’ll call them back.
That said, there are exceptions to this rule like listening to music (I’m going to take out my old phone for this and use it as in ipod), adding to my lists, tracking my moods/period, taking pictures and my daily meditation. I feel like these things can easily get out of hand so I’ll have to be mindful about this!
- What would you like to have done or accomplished with your extra time?
I would love to just “be”. Why does my mind have to be constantly stimulated? I am such a creative person and I have been feeling like my mind is SO CLUTTERED by a constant loop of “I need to check that”. First of all, I am telling myself that I need to do something (a big no-no for me) and second of all, I don’t need to constantly be on top of my e-mails, messages, etc. People can wait! It’s interesting because in this book Price talks about how we are so addicted to the checking. We don’t know if someone has messaged us, commented, etc. so we feel the need to check. THAT is where my addiction lies.
To better answer the question, I am just going to be Alyssa. My phone really equals answering to other people. Without my phone, I feel like my time will really be my time.
- What would you like someone to say if you asked them to describe how you’d changed?
I would like someone to say that I look and seem less anxious and stressed. I feel like a jitter bug that is never caught up and always missing/forgetting something. I am also hoping that people will say that I am less distracted, more in the moment and less forgetful!
Write your future self a brief note or e-mail describing what success would look like, and/or congratulating yourself for achieving it.
Dear the Alyssa of November 23rd, 2018,
I am so happy and excited for you! Breaking up with your phone is such a huge accomplishment! ESPECIALLY when you take into account the society that we live in. You have turned off the huge feeling and reoccurring story that you are missing out and that someone needs you. You are now living and doing activities that are important to you. You are now cooking more and enjoying doing what you love. Your phone was a toxic, demanding relationship that was dragging you down. You now have a new-found positive relationship (his name is Stevie btw). Stevie is super understanding and does not pressure you to spend more time with him than you want. He understands that you need to live your life and that is actually something that he wants for you! He is just there for you to help you track what you may forget and to enjoy things like daily calm and listening to music. He is so supportive and it is really refreshing!
Great! Everyone should ask themselves those questions!