This blog post has been building up in my mind over the past few days. What the heck am I talking about when I say “Is giving 100% always a good thing for ADHD-ers”??! Isn’t giving 100% always the way to go?

Let me give an example:

I just started working as a virtual assistant. One of my upsides and also my downfall is that I have to do EVERYTHING at 100%. I literally spent 15 hours on a project that should have taken me 5. Why did I do this? How did this happen? There was the option of doing it the simple way, 50% or there was the Alyssa way at 100%. Well, I ended up spending like 5 hours imputing all the questions (normal way) and then proceeded with a super complicated way to organize everything. Then it turned out that the super complicated way wouldn’t actually work so I had to spend even more time to re-fix everything. Insert total meltdown here. I ended up getting incredibly mad at myself and was battling with myself between stopping and giving up versus continuing. I ended up continuing and completing but it was rough! And for what?! I was not happy with the results and I still am not.

I did have a couple of options for the way that I could have accomplished said project:

1. Option #1: “half-ass it”. The thing with the half-ass option is it is the way the most people will accomplish the task and there is nothing wrong with that. Most people will see it as the “normal” way.option 1 or 2 Me? I’m not normal and basically can’t do anything the “normal way”.

2. Option #2: Do it the “Alyssa” way, the big shiny bright way. The new, fun way… I think you get the picture!

What I realized while I was chatting with a friend is that the giving 100% option is so much more fun and appealing to me. The end result will be nice, shiny and bright. On the other hand, if I do the 50% option (half-ass it) the process is boring, mundane, and very straight forward. I do not learn anything new and like I said, it is BORING. I also have a huge internal battle because I don’t feel as though I am doing my best.

When something like this happens in my life I always, always, always need a solution. So here it is:

Solution: 4 Steps

Ask myself:

1. What is the task I want to accomplish? What is the end goal?

2. What is the easiest way to accomplish the goal?

3. What is the Alyssa(hardest) way?

4. What is the happy medium?

–> #4 is going to be the option that I will go with moving forward.

The key will be to actually realize that I need to pause and ask myself “is this the way that I should be doing this”?

Let me quickly explain to you why implementing this solution into my life is so crucial. I put in all the extra work (realizing I wouldn’t charge for it) and was super disappointed when that time and effort was wasted. I wanted to throw in the towel and I essentially had a little “breakdown”. I realized that I still had a few hours to go to be able to fix the mistakes that I had made. I didn’t want to give more of my precious time away to this project. I had messed up by already giving too much of my time. I started to cry and feel sorry for myself (I am 26 years old, I don’t think this should happen lol). I said okay, time out. I took a bath and turned on my meditation app. In the bath I told myself all the positive aspects of what happened. I learnt A LOT about the task that I was given. To move forward I gave myself a little competition to see how long it would take me to get the task fixed. I put on some fun music and I kept on going! All this to say, the time wasted and the emotional toll that it placed on me was not ideal in the slightest bit. I would really like to implement my solutions to avoid the emotional breakdowns!!

Fun side note: My next chapter to read in my school manual is called “Procrastination, Perfectionism, Incompletions”. This should be super helpful for me to realize if this 100% is a part of perfectionism or just that I want to give everything; my all. 

Does this happen to you? Do you give 100% when maybe you shouldn’t be?