Three steps: How I figured out my purpose!

I spent so much of my life trying to be what I thought those around me wanted me to be. I thought that I needed to go to university to impress and to earn a decent living. I would not have dared to leave the house without makeup on. I used to try my best to make my friends, boyfriends and family happy; if they were unhappy it was as if it was my fault. I needed to fix it! Guess what?! They are not mine to fix. Yes, I can try and cheer them up or make their day a little bit better. However, they are not my responsibility.

It’s funny how life turns out when you follow your gut/heart. Yes, that sounds cheesy but it is so unbelievably true! I am more than lucky to be in a position where I was able to take 6 months off. I basically have been working the bare minimum. I really gave myself the time to learn what I wanted to do. And more importantly: I gave myself the time to heal. I also gave myself the time to do some real thinking; what could I do for a living that would make my heart sing? Unfortunately, this doesn’t just hit you in the face as you are walking down the street. You know what did happen though… when I took a step back and really listened and asked myself “what do I want to be doing?” That’s when the answers came!

Here is what I did when I listened to myself:

Step 1. I created an ADHD support group for my area. 

This has been HUGE. When I first had the idea to start a support group, those in my immediate circle said “why do you have to do this?” I am so glad that I did not listen to them and I decided to go ahead and start the group. I have met so many great people and have found so many great resources as a result. The support group also gave me purpose and meaning. It sounds so simple but it really is incredible to be in a room surrounded by people who understand and “get you”.

Step 2. Learn. Learn and learn some more

I learnt about ADHD. I was diagnosed with this thing that I thought only existed in out of control boys. I needed to understand how it effects me so that I can learn to help myself. The thing with ADHD is that I don’t think that I will ever stop learning. Admittedly, when I was first diagnosed,  I was so unbelievably overwhelmed with all the information that was coming at me. I had no idea what to do. As with anything, time helped and I am better able to manage all of the new information.

Step 3. ADHD Coach

The moment that I knew I wanted to be an ADHD coach was when I was talking to a woman about her daughter who has ADHD. She told me about all the things that her daughter was struggling with and my heart ached for the daughter. I knew EXACTLY what the daughter was going through, the daughter could have been me! I wanted to reach out to the daughter and pull her along but I knew that would be the worst approach. Then I started to ask myself “what would be the best approach?” From there I asked myself how would I learn the best approach? AND VOILA! The idea of becoming an ADHD coach was formed.

I would really like to highlight that the only way that I was able to figure out what I wanted to do, what my new purpose and goal would be was to actually live and listen to myself. I say listen to myself because there is nobody around me that said that I should become a coach. To be completely honest, everyone advised against it. They just want me to get a “normal” job that I know that I will succeed in and have a steady income. Well, guess what?! I am not normal. There are no guarantees that I will succeed. I would much rather fail at something that I am very passionate and interested in than succeed in something that I am not interested in.

Originally published on 03/03/2018

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