What do I want?

Lately I have done a lot, a lot, a lot of self analyzing. Every time I feel the slight twinge of anxiety I take a step back and ask myself “why?”. Just in this instance I realized that the anxiety I am experiencing is because I do not know what I want.

I am in the process of doing research on ADHD coaches, speakers and the ADHD community in the West Island/Montreal for the support group that I am starting. I have an ADHD coach’s website opened up and my anxiety is rising, my tongue is going numb, my vision is becoming blurry and I am asking myself “what the heck?!” Why is my anxiety rising so much? It is because I do not know what I want to ask this woman. I do not know what I want to ask her, what is my end goal? I have come to realize in the past few weeks that if I do not decide ahead of time what I would like to “get” out of interactions, meetings, etc. then I somewhat leave the encounter feeling lost and like I am following other peoples visions of what they think I want/need. Let me clarify that the encounters that I am talking about are with individuals who have experience with ADHD; are either coaches or doctors or psychologists.

The solution I came up with for myself is to take out a pad of paper and a pen and write down what I want, what am I looking for, what do I feel like I need. From there I know what I want to ask, what I would like to understand and what I would like to “get” from the encounter. I say “get” in the quotations because I do not feel like I need to “get” anything from or out of people. I just do not have a better word for it. I would also like to emphasize that I follow the conversation wherever it goes. You never know what you will learn or where the conversation will take you! I get a lot of ideas and insights from listening to others and I believe that there is nothing like learning from other peoples experiences and stories!

I do not know if this solution will work and if you have any insight into my experience, please let me know! I am taking a huge leap into this ADHD world and by starting the support group. I do not have any experiencing running a group, ADHD is relatively new to me and it is so terrifyingly exciting. I feel like I have connected with so many amazing people in the past month and I cannot wait to keep learning and meeting new people.

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